Lost You Twice
by Oosla
Summary: Adora and her friends are desperately tracking down the horde, in order to save Glimmer, but in the following fight Catra is killed. Adora must face things that were said and things that were forgotten.


I stare into the ice, cold wind, my eyes sting and I can feel my eyelashes freeze. Even the winter coat I "borrowed" can't protect me from the searing cold.

"Adora we've got to turn around! The mountain pass up ahead isn't safe in this weather!" Bow shouts to me.

"No! Not until we catch those horde bastards and save Glimmer. Us leaving is exactly what the horde wants and expects. We can leave until without Glimmer, don't you remember the message she got to us while she was taken? They're torturing her Bow!"

"Adora please listen to reason! I'm begging you!" Bow shouted

"We need to keep moving. Tell the other to pack up the tents."

"There is no reasoning with her! She out of her mind!" Bow exclaimed.

Bow, Perfuma and Frosta were packing up the one tent that we have. Bow had tricked out this tent with old one tech so it would stay warm in any temperature. Frosta was the only one who had no problem with the cold, she'd spent her whole life up in the tundra. She had only joined us in rescuing Glimmer because she was bored. She won't admit it but I think she was worried about Glimmer. Frosta continued to loudly complain as they journeyed farther into the desolate, cold wasteland.

The mountain pass. The mountain range, the horde had fled too was massive, the easiest way through was a narrow valley so thin it could have be mistaken for a cave. It was always filled with snow, this time of year was always worse, with the storms coming from the sea only to become hail.

I wipe the ice sickles off of my eyelashes, I'd be a fool to not prepare for a fight, its so obviously an ambush.

"Adora if the horde shows up.-" Bow started to say.

"They will."

"When they show up stand back I'll fire arrow into the snowbanks and start an avalanche."

"But Bow it could hurt Glimmer if we did that." I say. My mind races I feel guilty because the person I'm worry about isn't Glimmer. I miss Catra as a friend I'm going to be fighting her today no question about that. I remember when Catra and I were young in the horde together I don't know what I didn't without her back then I was so lonely. Bow brings me away from my thoughts.

"Adora are you okay? You looked lost for a second there."

I blink and shake my head to forget my life in the horde all that matters is the present. "We should get going." I say.

"Out of the frying pan and into the fire!" Perfuma says she must have been listening.

We enter the mountain pass as a team after all we're stranger together. We sing as a group Yo ho yo ho into the trap we go!

I stare into the abyss its deep enough to never see the bottom, unless you were to fall. I swear I can touch the sides of the wall when my arms are fully out stretched. Its claustrophobic I don't think as she ra I could get a full swing with my sword. The only way forward is a rickety bridge, it doesn't look like it well hold us.

"Hey Adora can you go first? You know I have problems with uh heights..." Bow suggested while rubbing the back of his neck.

I look solemnly to the other side I can make it. "No problem Bow, we won't be the Best Friend Squad if I didn't."

He smile at me looking relieved. The first step I take almost makes me back out. CRACK the board splinters under my foot. I look at Frosta she just shrugs like what are you gonna do? I take a deep breath I'm the only one who can do this. The second step is more stable and the third and four ect I reach the middle of the bridge and I see Catra her long, straight, chocolate brown hair blowing in the arctic wind, the smuggest smile you'll ever see, eyes slighted and gray. She was beautiful, a breath caught in my throat. Catra waved at me and said "Bye Bye" Scorpia suddenly jumped from behind a pile of snow and cut both of the rope to the bridge. I shiver went up my spine to signal I was indeed in freefall.

Vines slithered up the falling bridge and clinging to the rocks on the side of the cliff keeping the bridge stable.

"Quick thinking perfuma!" I shout at her. I see her straining to keep consecration but nod at me. Frosta is running to join me and Bow stands by Perfuma. Its time for She ra. A flash of light and a sword appears in my hand. I look at Catra she screaming at Scorpia possibly for failing to kill me. Charge! I swing my sword at Catra it sparks off the side of the cliff, Scorpia blocks my blow. I swing again letting it send her flying into the wall, I see her collapse into a snow pile.

"Where's Glimmer Catra" I shout.

"She was never with us. Wrong horde members." Catra replies with a laugh.

"Your lying!" I scream at her.

"Face it Adora she already dead!"

"Noooo!"

I swing at her furiously. Catra nimbly dodges every attack. She swings at me full force I go flying back, wood splinters into my back all that's holding this bridge together is the vines Perfuma is struggling to hold in place.

KABOOM! A loud explosion shake the ground I see Bow with his bow aim and smoldering. The rocks at the top of the cliff shake and come lose, they tumble down right onto Catra.

"No!" I scream. I feel my spine chill I'm in freefall again.

I didn't see Catra go limp under the rocks. But I heard it, the crunch and snapping of bones, the slosh of blood splashing across the snow. I don't know how it really happened, maybe my mind played tricks on me, my ears imagined her scream and scream, until death hit her with his icy scythe. But deep in my heart I knew it was real, Catra my friend, my enemy, my… she was dead. I was shocked, no emotion, just surprise. Perfuma hoisted me onto cliff edge, I was dazed, not quite there you could say.

"3';5456.;'4434;l!?"

"Wha what?" I ask. I see Bow's mouth move quickly but I can't understand a word he says.

"Are 2uo ok7y?"

"I think so,"

"Good, we need to move."

I nod my head to responded. "Is she dead?" I look over at where Catra was. That was a mistake, all I see at first glance is an arm poking out from under the rocks, an arm with bone peeking out from the flesh like it was a chicken le. The arm was bent the, wrist floppy and broken, all the bones in her body had been broken. It looked like in her dying state Catra had shoved her arm to try and free herself in a finale attempt of escape. I feel sick to my stomach I don't want to see the rest of her body. So I look away and we leave, we just leave, after all that.

It takes us a few days to find out where they were holding Glimmer hostage, rescue was easy. I should be happy Our best friend Squad is back in action. But I can't stop thinking about a broken body buried in rocks and snow. The cold will forever preserve the body it'll just be sitting there waiting for the coward who left, to see what she had done.

I sometimes like to think back to when me and Catra were still young, where did it all go wrong? I remember one summer night on the roof top.

Being a responsible rule follower, Adora had disliked the idea of going out passed curfew, but somehow she could just never say no to that smug lovable smirk, that was a permanent feature to her cat eared friend.

"Your a bastard," Adora said. There was no venom in her voice.

"So I take it, that's a yes?" Catra replied smugly.

"Stop being smug! If we get caught I'm going to blame this all on you."

"Oh come on, the horde would never be mad at, a yes man, ass kisser like you Adora." Catra giggles the last part.

"Well your a-" Adora just laughs. Staying angry at Catra is always difficult, her laugh is just contagious. They both stifle their laughs as they sneak up to the roof.

The sky is gorgeous a mix a pinks and dark blues swirled together in a perfect storm of color and balance. The dazzling starlight is hypnotic, Adora felt as if she were in a trance, maybe that was just her excuse for what happened next. By far the most beautiful thing was not the sky, or stars but Catra, sharing a gentle smile of ecstasy and content, her long hair flowing in the warm wind, her eyes reflecting the galaxy. Maybe Adora was in a trance that beautiful night, or maybe it was lust. Whatever the truth is or was, Adora had spent the night kissing her once bestfriend.

In the day when the two of them woke up on the roof, panic and denial of that night. What had happened was real or a show delusion. It felt like it was the end of the world. In the end they decided to pretend it never happened.

It was so long ago but I feel like it happened yesterday, I felt this longing for so many years, a need to be young again. I'm only fourteen but I feel so much older this war has taken its toll on many of us, but its taken everything from me.

I'm seventeen now this war still rages on and on. Some days I don't want to leave the safety of my bed, I don't want to face the war again. I've become to cautious to afraid to do any good, I've been a coward since leaving the body of a friend in my wake, this body should not be buried in my conscience, I must be brave again even if it ruins what's left of me.

I didn't ask for permission I just left. The only clue of my whereabouts, a note saying that I was gone do not worry I'll be back.

"Yes I'll be back,"

After days of traversing, batter snow redden paths I found the mountain pass. I feel sick just looking at it, will the body still even be there?! What if someone moved it!? What would I do then? I quiet my mind and keep going, whatever I see is what I came here to find.

I've gotten taller since the last time I was here, its a lot more cramped more claustrophobic I need to stop every once in a while to calm my breath, its tight. I truly can't breath now, when I see the chasm that spans across the path. I guess nobody built a new bridge. How will I get across? I look at the sides, there are enough natural hand holds and foot placement I should able to climb across the chasm.

Each minute is painstaking, pebbles tumbling between my feet. An inch from death, the grim reaper watches me with a hungry gaze, he's ready, he's waiting, for my hand to slip. Its cold, but my hand sweats, and a trickle of water from the melted snow drips. I can't die here, not after everything I'm not going to die in the snow alone.

Drip… drip… drip

With my legs shaky I reach the other side. That wasn't a good idea. I look to where Catra would be, its just a small mountain of snow.

"Haha I guess I'm digging!"

I didn't bring a shovel with me so I spend hours digging with my hands, until they bleed, I keep going and going. I slice my hand "Gaaah!" I look at it, it doesn't look serious, the snow will keep it numb. I look to see where I cut myself there is dirt, ground, I've reached the bottom but where's Catra?! My gut wrenches, I vomit over the side. Where else would she be!? Gone! Away from me, its been years. I laugh despite myself.

"She gone you bitch, and you lost your chance to say goodbye!" I realize something I didn't feel guilt over Catra's death I felt loss, I lost my lover. I was to afraid to say goodbye back then and now I'll never get that chance again.

To tell her I love you!


End file.
